HOW TO EAT A LOBSTER...

This is your intrepid reporter coming to you from deep in the wooded coastline of Northern Maine.  Our sources have described scenes of great desperation, including a drowning in drawn butter and a skewering by a long handled seafood fork.  It is our purpose to educate the public on the safe and proper way to consume a Lobster.

1. Fast for 3 days
2. Gather together a plastic rain poncho and the garden hose; heavy duty dish detergent, a pair of pliers, a hammer, a vice and a very large multi-tool, a pair of vinyl gloves, a pair of bathroom tweezers and several large bath towels.
3. Allow a 3 foot diameter space for each diner.
4. Cover the table with a carefully arranged assortment of plastic garbage bags.
5. Don't bother with cutlery, because you won't use it.
6. You can try to use a plate, but chances are, the little sucker will just squirt right off it and onto your carefully prepared table.
7. Open the vice.
8. Insert Lobster.
9. Using whichever of your multitude of tools that seems appropriate, smash the little guy until all his shell falls off.
10. Use the bathroom tweezers to pick up, dip and then eat the one tiny piece of flesh that comes out of all that mess.
11. But enjoy!

This is your intrepid reporter, deep in research mode from Bar Harbor Maine,

To be continued......